Our thoughts are constantly suggesting to us that we change something about ourselves whether it be our hair, our jobs, our friends, our hobbies, or even just the type of laundry detergent we use. They tell us that if we changed that one thing that our lives would be easier or that we would be happier or we would have more peace. But we change it and it doesn't work.
They berate us with comparisons to other people's lives. If only you were married then you would be understood or respected more. Possibly if you just had a more fit body or a different nose then you would be wanted by that guy. If you made more money then tithing wouldn't be such a sacrifice and of course your budget wouldn't feel like such a stranglehold.
They bring up our darkest moments again and again. That relationship let down, that ugly argument with your sister, and that time you disappointed your kids. They pop up as we are in the middle of grocery shopping, on vacation and in the shower. The most subtle of things can remind us of our inadequacies and failures.
There is no hiding. They find us everywhere.
Honestly I thought that when I grew up that this battle would be won or at least calmed down. But walk into a women's conference and you will learn that the battle doesn't stop - we just learn how to fight back.
As I grow in the Lord my confidence grows that my heart and mind will eventually join sides.
Take heart ladies, even the best of us still have moments where the lies and fears win, but as we walk with the Lord we DO get stronger. I want to equip you with sound truth so that you can be ready as the war wages on. And if you are a man reading this, use this to encourage your sisters (or sisters in Christ). The best advice I've received is that you have to preach the Gospel to yourself. I hope the following words and scriptures help you do that even in your darkest moments.
Is that thought something Jesus would say to you?
Are we really convinced that Jesus would think that dying our hair would make us more beautiful?! Thats crazy talk! And when was the last time your heard Jesus hint how that girl in your small group doesn't actually like you. We need to recognize the flat out lies that these are! Jesus doesn't talk like that! When you think something that causes fear or hurt or confusion recognize that God is for you not against you (Rom 8:31) and He does NOT have plans to harm you, but to prosper you! (Jer 29:11)
Its about Progression, not perfection
These days we expect to look beautiful all the time, have a perfectly balanced budget, be a top performer at work, be knock-your-socks-off wives....and its too much! We raise the bar so high that even Jesus couldn't meet our standard. Remember that Jesus is our definition of perfection, not the media, and not everything we try to be. (2 Cor 12:9) Instead of constantly working on our imperfections, we need to be persistently relocating our identity, self-worth, and significance in Christ. If you struggle with perfectionism I suggest reading Pastor Derwin Gray's article on the topic.
Refocus your attention
The devil would love to distract you from what God is doing. John 8:44 says that when the devil lies that he is speaking his native language because a liar is what he is. He has been mastering his craft for millenia. The Bible says to watch out! (1 Peter 5:8) Its important that you not let him steal God's glory or undermine His plans by continuing to dwell on your insecurities and false fears. If you do this you are letting the devil outsmart you - be familiar with his schemes (2 Cor 2:11). Keep your eyes on Jesus and refuse to take them off!
Godly counsel matters
Whether they are a friend, a Bible study leader, or a professional counselor, good Godly counsel is priceless. If you are in a pit then its impossible to dig yourself out unless you have divine intervention. (Eccl 4:9-10) Sometimes we truly can't help ourselves because the issue is out of our control or will affect us for the long term. Throw your pride out the window and get healthy! Go to counselling, ask your best friend to text you scripture throughout the day, or meet with a leader and pour out your heart. Heck do all 3! (Prov 15:22)
Final word of advice. These are tools you will need to learn to use again and again. This is not a quick fix because we are not in a small battle. Use your sword regularly-its the best way to sharpen it.
Further reading:
http://www.christianitytoday.com/derwin-gray/2014/november/patience-persistence-and-progression-not-perfection.html
http://www.harvest.org/knowgod/new-believer/foundations-for-living/devil.html
http://www.theguardian.com/science/2013/dec/02/men-women-brains-wired-differently
http://time.com/70558/its-not-you-its-science-how-perfectionism-holds-women-back/
http://www.maconferenceforwomen.org/perfectionism-leading-fatal-disease-among-women-18-100/
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pressure-proof/201407/3-big-perfectionism-struggles-women
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