The BEST Wine

One of my favorite stories is the one of how Brother Lawrence came to know God. One day he's just staring at this tree. Not just staring but really doing some deep thinking about how the dead leaves were falling off and how the tree was awaiting spring and summer to have fullness again. And it just hit him...this was what God's love for Him looked like. He was never the same after that.

Honestly for most of us- staring at a tree doesn't do it! With real footage of planes crashing, beheadings, and wild hurricanes ripping through cities...its not really surprising that we demand to have an almost mind-blowing life experience to really come to see the one true God. We are pretty numb. It takes a lot for us to be shocked and even more for us to change. And its even sadder that even after we do become Christians that we keep expecting God to do explosive things to get our attention. Its almost like we keep holding our lives ransom until God does the next big thing and the next and the next.

But the tree was enough for Bro. Lawrence. You know what he spent the rest of his life doing? washing dishes. No joke. He worked in monastery's kitchen for the majority of his life. In fact he is famous for Practicing the Presence of God ...literally (the title of his published letters). God's presence was where he wanted to stay from the moment he looked at that tree til the day he died. He did this by doing the most lowly of tasks-serving. This wasn't always enough for him...but God's presence was.

I tell you about Bro. Lawrence to lead you into why you are supposedly reading about Wine. And of course you didn't come here for just any wine...but the BEST wine.

As we all do, I have been going through one of life's big storms. Really-its been hellacious (my own word). It hit unexpectedly. It was insanely rough. I didn't understand its purpose. But needless to say-I'm pushing through it. I've been spending some time with God-crying out, relaxing at home, and just taking a life-breather. And as we all know, work doesn't stop just because life is throwing you for a loop. So because I work in a library, I was doing that old librarian thing of shelving books. I was in the wine section lining up these books (see below), just me and my thoughts alone...when I had a Brother Lawrence tree moment....

"Wait for the good wine."

Of course it was a small voice but a clear one. I'm not really a wine drinker and I was at work so it was clear God wasn't telling me to actually get ready to buy some merlot. He was telling me that the things that have broken, the people he has removed, the plans he has changed have been to give me a good life, not a satisfactory one. These books in front of me were on everything about wine. How to have a good orchard. How to produce the best flavor. Where to find the best wine in Texas. Everything you want to know about wine, my library has it. But God was telling me that He is a craftsman of fine wine. He's not only the best gardener, He's also the best bartender. He knows every single detail of my life. He knows what needs to be ripped away, what needs to be replanted, what needs to die. Because He is crafting the BEST wine. His methods are making me into the BEST wine He can craft.

I could be more even more cliche and talk about all the verses of the Bible we've heard a thousand times about God being the vine and us the branches, or remind you that His first miracle was creating insanely delicious wine at a wedding or even talk about how His life was poured out like wine. But I won't continue with the list.

It comes down to this ...
God will stop at nothing to make you more like His son Jesus. If so much of the Word compares wine with being good and the best of this life....then He is going to make your life like the BEST wine.

He is going to break off dead leaves.
He is going to strain the juice from the pulp.
He is going to place you in dark places to wait.

He is going to get as much glory from your life as He possibly can. The very best wine that is of the highest quality and value is the wine that has been waited for. He is taking His time. And He has every right to, because He is the winemaker.

One last thought.
Your husband, your boss, the guy in the car in front of you...He's turning them into fine wine too. Have some patience and some grace while He does His life's work.

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The Unbearable "Uns"

No this isn't new slang. This isn't a secret abbreviation. They aren't poisonous fruits from the desert or the feeling you get after you just finished a Grey's Anatomy-watching binge on Netflix.

The unexplained

The unimaginable

The undetermined

The uncomfortable

The unspeakable

THESE terrible, ugly, horrifying situations above are the bane of my existence. I would be completely satisfied if I never had to meet them ever again. Because when we meet I ugly cry and get queasy...I want to hide in a jar of Nutella... I want to retire early in Belize... I want to completely shut down.

I'm sure you've met them...but if you haven't, let me introduce you to some of their personalities.

I'm the relationship that just crumbles and goes dark without rational explanation. Leaving you to guess- was it something you did? Was it a psychological problem they have? Will you ever see them again?

I'm the unexplained

I'm the cancer that showed up in your 4-year old. The kind that will take every dollar, every tear, every ounce of strength, every vacation day that you have.

 I'm the unimaginable

I'm the 42 job applications that you just sent out just hoping and praying that yours will be noticed among the thousands of others when you're on your last unemployment check.

 I'm the undetermined

I'm your new father-in-law under the influence, strangely confiding in you that he's about to divorce your new bride's mother after 30 years of marriage.

I'm the uncomfortable

I'm the horror of having your village's school girls kidnapped. Your government not caring enough. And the terrorists taunting you with tweets of their new "husbands."

 I'm the unspeakable

These are the things that take steel courage to put on facebook. Because you know the pity and the questions could push you over the edge. So they rarely make it to a status update. Let's be honest- these types of moments are ones that we have ALL encountered. And they are the ones that make us question everything. Humanity. Existence. God.

Really-does The almighty, perfect, omnipotent God believe that fallible, weak, little ol me could continue to stand when faced with terrors such as these?!
The answer - No... At least not alone.

Elisabeth Eliot's 2nd husband who died of cancer was quoted as saying this. "When the will of God crosses the will of man, somebody has to die." Elisabeth's first husband was slaughtered by a tribe while trying to minister to them. She went back and finished the job-lived with them and converted the whole village. She went and lived with her terror. Through her and the other wives, an entire village met Jesus. But it started with death. Jesus' and her husband's and she was well aware that she could have been the third but SHE STILL WENT!

If I were her, I would then think that I had paid my dues... That of course God would never make me face another "Un" ever again...but you remember that I already told you that her 2nd husband died of cancer. So it just isn't true. God isn't nice. He isn't safe. (As Lucy in Narnia puts it)

To be raw with you, I am facing an Un in my life right now. I'm smack in the middle of it. I have no idea what will happen in 30 minutes or the next month. But what I do know is this - I am not alone, God intimately knows the situation, and that my job is to lean in and trust Him.

For days or weeks or even years you may have cried, prayed, read all the best books, talked to the professionals, joined the support groups, and on and on. But no matter what God says this "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9


He says lean in because you're not alone. In fact he says 100+ times in the Bible In an array of times and places. He is saying it to me right now. He is saying it to you. As My Utmost For His Highest puts it...

“I say to you, do not worry about your life….” Our Lord says to be careful only about one thing— our relationship to Him. But our common sense shouts loudly and says, “That is absurd, I must consider how I am going to live, and I must consider what I am going to eat and drink.” Jesus says you must not. Beware of allowing yourself to think that He says this while not understanding your circumstances. Jesus Christ knows our circumstances better than we do, and He says we must not think about these things to the point where they become the primary concern of our life. Whenever there are competing concerns in your life, be sure you always put your relationship to God first.
“Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matthew 6:34).

I don't know if what your facing is the unimaginable or the Undetermined. It may be both. All I know is that you are NOT alone. God knows what you are facing. And it's time to keep going because even when we feel like tapping out, God never relents.

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For Those Who Are Waiting

I had the pleasure of living in the beautiful country of Jordan for a summer. And there I heard a few stories that I will never forget. You need to hear them. 

Sometime in the 90s there was an American pilot who was hired by the Royal Jordanian Air Academy to train some of the students to be fully equipped pilots. He taught them all of the skills they needed to graduate and it finally became time. So, the American man asked the faculty when the graduation day would be. Faculty and staff all said that they didn't know when graduation would happen. The American pilot found this to be completely ridiculous. What kind of Academy wouldn't have a set graduation day?! Weeks passed. Months passed. Still no graduation. As the summer came to a close the man finally became frustrated and asked when graduation would be one last time. An instructor responded with the answer. "We don't fly until the King gives us our wings." They had been waiting all along on King Hussein to come and personally give them permission to become real pilots. He had the final say. Graduation day eventually did happen, but the new students would have waited as long as it took to hear the King's word. They wouldn't have settled on anyone less.

Waiting isn't a game, a means of torture, or a waste of time.
It is a journey of trust.
Waiting on the King to answer is worth it.

Ruth waited on a husband

Daniel waited for rescue

Job waited for relief

Moses waited for freedom

Mary waited for resurrection

Sarah waited for a child

Joshua waited for walls to fall

Joseph waited for his family

Jesus has been waiting on you

I have been waiting for healing. I have been waiting for love. I have been waiting for answers. God will answer you. It just takes trusting in his timing and in his ways.

 Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do NOT depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he WILL show you which path to take.

Proverbs 3:5-6

The second and last story is the most incredible I've ever heard.

There once was an old man who had lost his family in tragedy. His children and his wife were taken too soon. The years of pain and loneliness wore down the heart of the man. So, every week he found peace and comfort by going to church to listen to the children's choir practice. The members of this church learned of his suffering and felt it ok to let him sit in the sounds of their small voices. After many times of seeing this old man sit in the back all by himself, one of the little girls thought she would go say hello. Her boldness surprised the man as she invited him to join her family for dinner. Without her father's permission she brought the old man home, but the family welcomed him kindly into their house, just like any other good Jordanian family would. Before dinner, the father of the little girl sat and heard the old man's story of loss. As the family ate dinner later that night, the father surprised the little girl and the old man by announcing that she would go and live with the old man and become his daughter. He felt God urge him to give this child to a man who no longer had any. The little girl lived and grew up with the man and was adopted as his official daughter. What is more incredible about this story is the old man was the best friend of the King of Jordan and a famous race car driver. Even after the old man's passing, the girl (now woman, mother, and grandmother) lived in love, wealth, and favor.

The granddaughter is my friend Maida, who I stayed with for my summer in Jordan.

Ruth got a husband.

Joseph got his family back.

Sarah got a child.

All were answered.

 You will be too.



All glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Ephesians 3:20

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