The Unbearable "Uns"

No this isn't new slang. This isn't a secret abbreviation. They aren't poisonous fruits from the desert or the feeling you get after you just finished a Grey's Anatomy-watching binge on Netflix.

The unexplained

The unimaginable

The undetermined

The uncomfortable

The unspeakable

THESE terrible, ugly, horrifying situations above are the bane of my existence. I would be completely satisfied if I never had to meet them ever again. Because when we meet I ugly cry and get queasy...I want to hide in a jar of Nutella... I want to retire early in Belize... I want to completely shut down.

I'm sure you've met them...but if you haven't, let me introduce you to some of their personalities.

I'm the relationship that just crumbles and goes dark without rational explanation. Leaving you to guess- was it something you did? Was it a psychological problem they have? Will you ever see them again?

I'm the unexplained

I'm the cancer that showed up in your 4-year old. The kind that will take every dollar, every tear, every ounce of strength, every vacation day that you have.

 I'm the unimaginable

I'm the 42 job applications that you just sent out just hoping and praying that yours will be noticed among the thousands of others when you're on your last unemployment check.

 I'm the undetermined

I'm your new father-in-law under the influence, strangely confiding in you that he's about to divorce your new bride's mother after 30 years of marriage.

I'm the uncomfortable

I'm the horror of having your village's school girls kidnapped. Your government not caring enough. And the terrorists taunting you with tweets of their new "husbands."

 I'm the unspeakable

These are the things that take steel courage to put on facebook. Because you know the pity and the questions could push you over the edge. So they rarely make it to a status update. Let's be honest- these types of moments are ones that we have ALL encountered. And they are the ones that make us question everything. Humanity. Existence. God.

Really-does The almighty, perfect, omnipotent God believe that fallible, weak, little ol me could continue to stand when faced with terrors such as these?!
The answer - No... At least not alone.

Elisabeth Eliot's 2nd husband who died of cancer was quoted as saying this. "When the will of God crosses the will of man, somebody has to die." Elisabeth's first husband was slaughtered by a tribe while trying to minister to them. She went back and finished the job-lived with them and converted the whole village. She went and lived with her terror. Through her and the other wives, an entire village met Jesus. But it started with death. Jesus' and her husband's and she was well aware that she could have been the third but SHE STILL WENT!

If I were her, I would then think that I had paid my dues... That of course God would never make me face another "Un" ever again...but you remember that I already told you that her 2nd husband died of cancer. So it just isn't true. God isn't nice. He isn't safe. (As Lucy in Narnia puts it)

To be raw with you, I am facing an Un in my life right now. I'm smack in the middle of it. I have no idea what will happen in 30 minutes or the next month. But what I do know is this - I am not alone, God intimately knows the situation, and that my job is to lean in and trust Him.

For days or weeks or even years you may have cried, prayed, read all the best books, talked to the professionals, joined the support groups, and on and on. But no matter what God says this "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9


He says lean in because you're not alone. In fact he says 100+ times in the Bible In an array of times and places. He is saying it to me right now. He is saying it to you. As My Utmost For His Highest puts it...

“I say to you, do not worry about your life….” Our Lord says to be careful only about one thing— our relationship to Him. But our common sense shouts loudly and says, “That is absurd, I must consider how I am going to live, and I must consider what I am going to eat and drink.” Jesus says you must not. Beware of allowing yourself to think that He says this while not understanding your circumstances. Jesus Christ knows our circumstances better than we do, and He says we must not think about these things to the point where they become the primary concern of our life. Whenever there are competing concerns in your life, be sure you always put your relationship to God first.
“Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matthew 6:34).

I don't know if what your facing is the unimaginable or the Undetermined. It may be both. All I know is that you are NOT alone. God knows what you are facing. And it's time to keep going because even when we feel like tapping out, God never relents.